Revamp Your Romance: Spice Up the Bedroom with These Top Couple's Toys

4. Bedroom Spice Toys - Masks and Massagers

You don’t have to bring out the big guns to make your sex life spicier. Sometimes, small changes in your routine can make way for new sensations.

• The Sportsheets Door Jam Cuffs allow you to cuff your partner to the door or be held captive against it. The toy doesn’t change your routine drastically, but your partner feels the cold door digging against them as maybe finger them or eat them out. All the while they can’t touch you. 
• When you cut off your sight, you have to heavily rely on touch. Every brush is amplified. The Calexotics Boundless Blackout Eyemask provides full sensory deprivation of sight. Its soft leather means your eyes are uncomfortable, but you are hyper-aware of what’s happening in your surroundings, as you hear your partner move and anticipate their touch. 
• Cock extenders like the Doc Johnson Kink Extender add girth and length to your penis. You aren’t really doing anything different from your routine, but suddenly, your penis is inside a textured interior intensifying every sensation. Your partner is also experiencing a deeper penetration. It’s sheer, so you still have an unobtrusive view. The ball loop holds the extender in place. 
• Wand vibrators are the perfect beginner’s toys for spicing up the bedroom. For example, the Fun Factory Rumble Wand Massager comes with a unique weighted motor. It sends rumbling but quiet vibrations through the head. The wand doesn’t emit vibrations from the handle, so you can use it for long periods of time without feeling numb. 

How to Introduce Toys Into Your Relationship

Talking about sex is embarrassing. It is. Asking someone whether you can touch them in a specific way can be awkward. 

It gets better when you’re in a long-term relationship with the person. Even then, checking in with each other and establishing mutual consent is important. 

The “talk” about using adult toys with your partner is a simple extension of your everyday conversation around sex. But it can be harder to navigate because lots of people get intimidated or feel threatened by sex toys. 

This doesn’t mean you sidestep the conversation altogether by whipping out a dildo and praying for the best outcome. Instead, ease your partner into it. 

Dr. Jenn Mann, a licensed marriage psychotherapist, says to share an article or study detailing the benefits of using sex toys. You can even send a link to a steamy article about couples sharing their experience with intimate toys. 

It prepares your partner for the conversation and they get the time to sort out their thoughts on the subject. 

When you see them, try saying, “I’ve been thinking about you using a ______ (name a toy you want to try) on me, ever since I read the article. Is it something you would be open to?”

This makes it clear the decision is in their hand. You could also use alternative openers like how you heard about a couple who had a great time with sex toys. And it made you want to give it a shot. 

Or a killer line about how you dreamt about using a particular sex toy on you and it turned you on. 

You should frame it as something enjoyable for both parties involved. Also, make it clear it’s an idea with no pressure involved. You are only curious. 

You should also be careful about where you are having this conversation. 

Pick a neutral time and a neutral setting. So, bringing it up while enjoying a relaxing evening after work is good. But don’t spring it while you are going out for an event together. 

Or worse, while you’re having sex. You’re practically neon signaling to your partner you aren’t enjoying your time together if you do that. 

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

1. What toys are good for beginners and couples?

You had a discussion about using intimate toys for couples. You know you’re on the same page. But what do you get? 

You want to go for toys which don’t unnerve you. For example, the classic Magic Wand. It’s a non-intrusive toy for external use. You can run gentle vibrations over your partner’s body and vice versa. It’s almost like getting a massage. Plus, you can use it while plugged in, so it makes for hours of play. 

Or you could get a whole beginner’s couples toolkit, like the Pipedream Products Classix Ultimate. The bullet vibe is something you can always turn to when you are still figuring out the world of adult toys. Combine it with the sleeve and you have a new routine you two can take your time figuring out. 

A vibrating C-ring like the one from Romp, is also a couple’s toy by definition. It stimulates both partners at the same time when your penis comes in contact with their genitals. 

2. Does the use of toys ruin relationships?

All studies of the use of sex toys between couples point towards strengthening their relationships. Provided, they are active communicators. 

Adult toys open up a whole host of discussions about consent, sexual preferences, and boundaries. If both parties are open about their feelings, it can lead to them feeling closer. 

Sex toys are also a novelty. When you’ve been together for a long time and you know everything about each other, sex toys show new sides to your partner. It is capable of bringing back emotions similar to the early days of the relationship when you were falling in love with the person. 

Not to mention the idea of sex toys ruining relationships mainly stems from observing heterosexual ones. It is a mostly reflection on straight men who feel threatened by sex toys because society told them they should be. 

78.5% of gay and bisexual men use sex toys with their partners and consider it to make their sexual experience better. It’s the same for women, who report higher levels of desire for their partner when they use sex toys in relationships. 

3. What are the best toys for distant lovers?

There are a couple of features you should look for in couple’s sex toys if you’re in a long-distance relationship: 

• Long-distance connectivity via apps
• Customizable vibrations
• Video and music sync
• Chat feature
• Synchronized play. 

Lovense Lush 3 meets all of these requirements, except for the synchronized function. Your partner can customize vibration patterns via the app, there’s video and music sync, and the motor is whisper quiet. 

If you own a penis, the Satisfyer Power Masturbator makes more sense. The waterproof, grooved shaft has 14 vibration patterns your partner can play with from a mobile app. It can make for hours of edging experience. 

4. What kind of an adult toy for my wife is best for her first?

It’s not a hard and fast rule. It mostly depends on your wife’s preferences. But for her first sex toy, a small clitoris vibrator like the Je Joue Mimi Soft or a wand like the Magic Wand Rechargeable Mini makes perfect sense. 

Women reach orgasm first from clitoral stimulation. But it’s also important to get them to relax first. Vibrators can do the wonderful job of acting as a massager you can run all over her body before setting the vibrations to the highest on the clit. 

5. Would you suggest using toys to your partner?

Yes, there’s no harm in bringing up the idea of using a sex toy with your partner. Whether they decide they want to or not, you have to accept their decision. 

But the discussion itself doesn’t harm anyone. It makes you have a difficult conversation which can strengthen your relationship. In fact, if you do decide to use sex toys together in the future, it would set the stage for deeper conversation. 

Couples who use sex toys together also report higher levels of intimacy. 

Final Thoughts

Using intimate toys as a couple is a statement of sorts. It’s a way of saying you want to keep the relationship new and fresh. You are looking forward to all the more years you will spend together. 

It’s similar to finding date night activities to do together. There’s even a thrill in looking at adult toys together and deciding what you want to do next. You find out so much about what you like and what your partner likes. So, hop over to XOXTOYS and see if there’s anything you fancy in the couple’s collections.