There’s almost as much of a stigma around self-pleasure for men as there is for women. It’s a different kind of stigma, where men have permission to masturbate, but only with rules set by society.
But with the internet and feminism, not only is women’s desire getting more attention, but so are men’s. Sex tech companies are waking up and so are men who would shy away from using a sex toy even 5 years ago.
It’s important to know your body and have a good relationship with it for a healthy life. And one way to do it is to actually explore it.
So, let’s take a look at the various categories of adult toys for men as well as the 10 best sex toys for men.
The Significance of Self-Pleasure for Men
Society never created as big of a stigma for masturbation around men as it did for women. But it did limit how men could go about achieving self-pleasure.
For years, it was almost expected of men to masturbate. But the right came with odd limitations. The act should only involve their hand and nothing else.
Men can’t use sex toys or other aids. Those are for women, if we aren’t busy shaming them for thinking about sex at all.
It’s part of the reason men treat masturbation as almost routine rather than self-care.
This is clear from a study done by the condom brand Trojan and the Sex Information and Education Council of Canada (SIECCAN). 38% of women report masturbation to be more pleasurable than 29% of men. Yet, 65% of men engage in self-pleasure activities in a week compared to 35% of women.
As sexologist Robin Milhausen points out, women tend to have a plan when they masturbate. More than anything, 54% of women use a vibrator during the last round of self-pleasure. 46% of them agree it made the act even more enjoyable.
In comparison, men are 25% less likely to use adult toys while masturbating.
Even among men, queer men have always been more confident about exploring their sexuality. They’re marginalized as it is. They don’t have to follow the heterosexual rule book for sex and relationships.
As the co-founder of Healthy Pleasure Group, Dr. Maria Peraza Godoy explains, they don’t have the burden of being macho.
It’s a shame since self-pleasure comes with a host of mental and physical health benefits for men.
- For one, it can make you better at sex. Toys like the TENGA egg have been used to help men from coming prematurely. 83% of men felt more in control of their orgasms as a result.
- Sex toy users also feel more sexual desire, better orgasms, and erectile function. In fact, self-pleasure for men is one of the treatments for erectile dysfunction.
- Toxins usually build up naturally inside and around your genitals. But men who come over 5 times per week get rid of a good portion of these toxins. This lowers your chances of getting prostate cancer.
- Men release stress hormones when they get off. This is good for their immune system and for getting better sleep.
- Sex toys make you have open discussions with your partner as you get to know your body better. This improves your relationship.
- Masturbating releases positive chemicals like dopamine and oxytocin. It makes you feel good. A positive spirit is always better mentally.
Don’t feel silly about wanting to try things beyond the societal norm. Let's take a look at beginner’s sex toys for men as well as how to select your first toy.
A Beginner’s Guide to Male Toys
Self-pleasure toys for men aren’t as innovative as those for women yet. In some ways, you will have an easier time selecting your first sex toy if you keep a couple of things in mind.
1. Body-Safe Material
The first rule of using adult toys, you stay away from jelly-based products. They’re porous and often contain phthalates- harmful chemicals.
You also want to avoid rubber and PVC products as they are porous. But if you do use them, wrap a condom on the toy if you are using it anally or orally. Wrap a condom around your penis you using toys similar to a stroker.
Meanwhile, silicone, stainless steel, glass, and hard plastic are all safe as they are non-porous. Fluids don’t seep into these toys. Once you sanitize the toys, they remain 100% clean.
But with glass, you need to check for cracks or chips. You could cut yourself on the toy. Some people also worry the glass might break inside them. So, you want to go for Pyrex glass, which is strong and more receptive to changes in temperature.
No matter the material of the toy, make it a point to check the smell once you get it in your hands. If you smell anything chemical, trash the toy right away. It doesn’t feel sturdy in your hands? Throw it away.
You smell burnt batteries? Throw it away. If there is even the tiniest alarming thing about the toy, you should get rid of it.
Men do prefer softer material if it’s a masturbator and harder material if it’s used anally. Silicone is one material which can be molded into both types.
2. Function
Why are you buying a sex toy? Maybe you are tired of society dictating what you do in the privacy of your bedroom and want to try something different.
Have you heard a lot about the male G-spot but never got to experience an orgasm there? You want to use a butt plug, anal beads, or even a prostate massager. If you have a willing partner or if you are brave enough, you can even try a dildo.
Or maybe you are looking for a masturbator? Some are straightforward. They feel better than your hands and you have something proper to thrust into.
Others have tiny vibrations running through them. People with erectile dysfunction or people who are older might use them to get the blood running. Some like vibrating strokers because they feel good and different.
Or are you looking for a couple’s toy? Then cock rings, sleeves and vibrators might be more your jam.
3. The Price
Men’s sex toys aren’t cheap. A good stroker costs upward of $80. Of course, you can easily opt for a TPE toy, which would be in the $10 to $30 price range.
Some like the Tenga Egg Tornado cost about 9. They’re pocket-sized, travel-friendly, and stretchy.
But if the toy comes with a motor, you should not expect the price to be anything less than $100 in most cases. Usually, these are also made with military-grade silicone, which adds to the cost.
Some cost as high as $300, but they are also long-lasting toys.
If you buy sex toys from an online store, always opt for a store with discreet packaging options like XOXTOYS. It will keep your neighbors and even the delivery person out of your business.
Men’s Health and Pleasure: Tips and Tricks, Lubes and Hygiene
If you are going to use sex toys, you are going to need lube. Dry humping anything isn’t fun, much less adult toys. Your butt doesn’t produce fluids unlike the vagina either. So, if you want to insert a butt plug without bleeding, you aren’t doing it without lube.
With lubes, there’s a simple rule you have to follow. No matter the material of the toy, you can use water-based lube. It’s 100% safe.
But if it’s an anal toy, you want to go for silicone or oil-based lube. These are stickier options than water-based lube and don’t dry as fast as water lube. With anal toys, you want to keep the toy wet as long as possible.
Of course, if it’s a silicone-based anal toy, you want to use a non-silicone lube. Similarly, if it’s a rubber or latex-based toy, you want to use non-oil lube. When lubes with similar chemicals interact with toys made of similar material, it can cause a chemical reaction which can damage the toy and you.
Once you have your lubes in order, you should also pay special attention to cleaning and maintaining your toys.
For non-porous toys, you can just wash them in soapy water. If it’s silicone, you can also boil them. But for porous toys, you can either use a toy cleaner or wipe it with a soap washcloth. You should also wrap a condom around porous toys before using them.
And you have to clean your sex toys before and after use. Otherwise, you are asking for STIs.
Now, since we got the maintenance and safety out of the way, let’s look at some ways you can get the best out of self-pleasure:
- Take the time to explore your body. It’s not only about your genitals. Depending on your body, your thighs, nipples, and neck, can all be highly sensitive zones. Adult toys like nipple clamps, cuffs, or ropes might appeal to you more.
- Next, you could give edging a try and see if it’s something you like. The basic concept is to delay your orgasm as much as you can. You approach the tipping point and then stop, before starting again. So, you use a chastity belt or a penis sleeve. Butt plugs can also be used for edging if used correctly.
- On that note, you need to find your prostate. You don’t need to use a toy off the bat for it. Your fingers are enough, as long as you remember to lube them up.
Now, an uncomplicated way to masturbate and yet, get a new kind of experience is to do almost what you already do. Except, you add something like a stroker or an automatic blower to your routine to make the occasion a little more special.
Final Thoughts
Try as society might to make you feel, self-pleasure is normal and healthy. It’s good for your body, mind, and even your relationships. If the usual methods aren’t working or you are bored with them, it isn’t shameful to try adult toys.
In fact, try and have an open conversation about this with your partner. You will be surprised how accepting they are. It might even turn out they have been planning to bring up the use of sex toys for a while and never got the courage. So, why not take the first step?
